Rex and Rob Ryan's stories of growing up are legendary

Rex Ryan and Rob Ryan have some pretty epic brother stories from growing up.

By Will Brinson

Jun 22, 2015 at 10:12 am ET • 2 min read

Friend of the program Tim Graham of the Buffalo News penned a pretty superb profile on new Bills coach Rex Ryan, detailing how the boisterous Ryan grew from his family life.

The Cliffs Notes: Rex's family stories are hilarious. Naturally a lot of them involve his brother Rob, who is currently Saints defensive coordinator and a Lebowski impersonator in his free time.

Two such stories stand out in particular. One, the time that Rex and Rob played baseball together in high school and swapped a contact lens midway through an at bat.

Rex was missing the lens, went down 0-2, and turned back toward Rob.

That's not even remotely the best story. The best story is the one about the time Rob needed a wingman and Rex refused so the two ended up fighting after "a few hundred beers."

Rob: "I was a solo rider and had a babe on the line. But she had a friend. I said, 'You know, come on. Be a team player.'"
Rex: "I said, 'Dude, I'm staying at home today.'"

Rob: "So after a few hundred beers I said, 'You need to help out.' He didn't, so I was pissed and got in a wrestling match with him. I think he was a lot more sober than I was."

Rex: "I was bigger and was just going to throw his ass down. But he reversed me and got on top. So we went at it. We ended up outside, and here he comes."

Rob: "I ran after him, and he had a right hand waiting for me. I never saw it coming. Still haven't seen it."

Rex: "I got him good, and it was over. I felt terrible. I couldn't believe I hit my brother like that."

Rex felt so bad he stormed out of the house, hopped in the car they shared (Rex had the keys) and proceeded to get pulled over and arrested (he was covered in blood after all).

Rex: "I get pulled over by a cop. He sees me and doesn’t know what he’s got ... I said, 'I just got in a fight with my brother. You can take me back there, and he’ll explain it.' ... They take me to jail and then called my brother. He said, 'Nah, leave him in there.'"

The fallout from the fight? A broken ankle and nose for Rob and black eyes for both -- something that didn't amuse their father when both showed up for Super Bowl week in New Orleans.

The REAL key to all these stories, however, is to imagine the characters involved not as crazy Rex and Rob that you know now, but as two Kenny Powers clones engaging in this sort of bro'd out behavior.