Warning: Heavy sarcastic quotation marks will be used throughout this article. Usain Bolt seems to be having a good time trying to start his soccer career. The retired track Olympian has become the scrapper on the pitch, "training" with "Borussia Dortmund" on Friday and "scoring" a "goal" in his first showing. The goal came on a header in a scrimmage. You could say that Bolt is a bit excited about his debut.

Bolt has aspirations of being a soccer star, and he's been talking about this for a while. Both Dortmund and Bolt are sponsored by Puma, hence the crossover. Who knows though? Maybe Bolt will mess around and make a professional soccer club. He probably won't, but he's taking things a day at a time.

Bolt drew quite the crowd for his "debut."

And to be fair, his goal was pretty impressive, even with minimal keeper effort.

Just listen to that announcer get hyped about a goal in practice.

Bolt also buried a shootout shot, catching the keeper "guessing" wrong.

All kidding aside, it was a pretty good showing from Bolt for someone that's playing a completely different sport. He's serious about this -- he wants to play soccer professionally. We've seen crazier crossovers in the past, so who knows? Maybe something will come of this eventually. In the meantime, Bolt will just have to keep grinding. 

Perhaps more importantly, this guy is living his best life. He's attending tennis matches, Formula 1 races and now he's trying out for a soccer team. Usain Bolt is better than anyone, and he shouldn't be made fun of for doing what he wants. I'm honestly just jealous at this point.