Perhaps you've heard sketchy Internet rumor about Will Ferrell's Thursday Cactus League endeavors? For the somehow uninitiated, Mr. Ferrell manned 10 different positions (we're calling DH a position for these purposes) in five different spring training games, and he did so in large part to raise money for cancer awareness. A good turn, is what that is!

By the standards of non-ballplayer 47-year-olds, Mr. Ferrell acquitted himself quite nicely. Among his highlights? Making contact with an actual pitch, hitting the cutoff man and executing a 1-3 putout. However, in the remorseless and unsparing cauldron that is the Strat-O-Matic card, Mr. Ferrrell was revealed to be decidedly human. Please do regard ... 

All right. Hey, things could be worse defensively, so that's something. With the bat, however, the best Will Ferrell can hope for is not to maim himself while whiffing. 

But that's really what we all strive for, isn't it? I just checked, and yes that's really what we all strive for.