Yankees now legally known as 'Baseball's Evil Empire' ... sort of

Yankees GM Brian Cashman, doubtless receiving marching orders from Ba'al himself. (Getty Images)

The bid of a company named -- wondrously named -- Evil Enterprises, Inc., to trademark the phrase "Baseball's Evil Empire" has failed, the New York Daily News Reports. Why? Well, according to the judges presiding over the case, there is but one entity fit to lay claim to being "Baseball's Evil Empire." Take it away, high-minded people in robes and quite possibly powdered wigs ...

"The record shows that there is only one EVIL EMPIRE in baseball and it is the New York Yankees," the judges wrote in their decision earlier this month.

They're serious not only because they're backed by the full force of the law but also because they wrote "EVIL EMPIRE" in all-caps. These judges, they understand the rules and customs of Internet Street.

As the Daily News reminds us, the phrase was originally slapped on the Yankees by Red Sox Supreme Exchequer Larry Lucchino. Of course, if you're, say, a hang-dog Royals fan tucked away and suffering from benign neglect in fly-over country, then you probably see the Yankees and Red Sox as being rough equals when it comes to black-hearted deeds.

Anyhow, I'd encourage the Yankees to embrace what the law has gifted them. That means not only "Evil Empire"-branded merchandise but also pre-game virgin sacrifices set to the deafening swells of a Rachmaninoff composition.

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CBS Sports Writer

Dayn Perry has been a baseball writer for CBS Sports since early 2012. Prior to that, he wrote for FOXSports.com and ESPN.com. He's the author of three books, the most recent being Reggie Jackson: The... Full Bio

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