When a story emerged on Thursday that Charlie Sheen might've purchased Lawrence Taylor's auctioned-off Super Bowl ring, it seemed too good to be true. Turns out, it was, as Sheen said on Friday that he did not purchase the ring.

Sheen originally delivered the statement to the Dan Patrick Show, which read it aloud.

Barring some sort of unexpected conspiracy (Sheen DID purchase the ring but is giving it back to LT) or Sheen emerging from a blackout having forgotten he did purchase the ring, this should just about wrap things up when it comes to the various jokes that have percolated around the Internet the last 24 hours.

Well, almost a close. Someone still has to end up coming forward and stating that they purchased the ring, right? Even if it's some absolutely random Giants fan, they have to clear this up I'd think. Maybe.

And perhaps most importantly, how did LT and his agent become informed that it was Sheen who bought the ring? These are the real questions that now need answering.