Sports The Thrones: Tormund stands out in a decidedly un-athletic 'Game of Thrones' episode
What were the best sports moments from 'Game of Thrones' this week?
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4 min read
Last week, we introduced Sports The Thrones, a weekly review that would seek to find great sports/athletic moments in the final season of "Game of Thrones." The goal is to check in every Monday during the show's final stretch to rank the most impressive athletic achievements showcased during the previous night's episode.
On the heels of a decently sporty premiere was episode two this weekend, an episode that was decidedly less action-packed than the season-opener. In fact, there was almost no action at all, at least in a physical sense. No big scale battles. No hand-to-hand combat. No dragon-riding. Very little wheelchair pushing.
No, episode two was more about final preparations for The Great War and how our favorite characters spent their time on the eve of the battle. (Spoiler: They drank and had sex, so really like any other night in Westeros.)
Essentially, this episode was like the summer portion of the sports calendar: It wasn't the most exciting (at least in terms of action) but you just have to get through it because you know things are about to get crazy real soon.
So, with that in mind, we forge on and attempt to sports the thrones.
**SPOILERS AHEAD**
5. Gendry's chest
We don't actually see Gendry do anything particularly athletic this week, but we do get a look at his chest and, let me tell you, that boy has been putting in work in the gym. That upper chest is just screaming right out of his oversized shirt collar and it's evident that our dude has been absolutely blasting his incline pec routines at the local Winterfell fitness center. Good for him.
He also gets in some cardio in this episode, but we will NOT be discussing that.
4. Podrick shoves a guy
Good ol' Podrick is back and it turns out he's not that bad at combat anymore. We know this because it's explicitly told to us before we get to watch him shove a guy in front of Jaime and Brienne.
Listen, I already told you there wasn't much action in this episode. What do you want from me?
3. Arya's showcase
Arya showed Gendry quite a lot in this episode. Once again, we will NOT be addressing that scene because you simply cannot make me. However, she did let him in on the secret that she's basically a trained killing machine with an elite set of murdering skills, and that message was sent in the form of throwing knives.
Gendry was impressed and rewarded her with the weapon she'd been asking for. It feels safe to say we'll be revisiting this weapon and its capabilities very soon.
As far as I'm concerned, that weapon is the only thing he gave her in this episode.
2. Jon gets elusive
A good portion of this episode was dedicated to Jon finding various ways to duck Dany (not an autocorrect, FYI) and he put in a pretty solid display of elusiveness. Dany kept trying to get in some face time before the end of the world and Jon kept disappearing from her presence as quickly as he could. If he were a halfback at the NFL Combine, some scouts would've said he was "slippery" and had "deceptive speed."
As it turns out, lacking a desire to tell your lover "whoops, you're also my aunt" can really motivate a guy to take his agility rating up a notch.
1. The Tormund show
Jon may have been able to avoid Dany for a lot of the episode, but he wasn't quite elusive enough to evade Tormund, who apparently has incredible open-field tackling abilities. He's basically Ginger Eric Weddle with that ability to pursuit and hit in the middle of the field.
And if you're of the mind that drinking is a sport, then Tormund is your runaway superstar athlete from this week's episode. He dominated fireside story time with a wonderful tale about how he once took down a giant as a small child, then went on to reveal he got his strength by stealing milk from the bosom of his victim's wife. Mr. Steal Your Giant Girl then capped it off with a feat of strength -- mercilessly chugging milk from a carved out horn.
An impressive display no doubt, but it begs the question: Where is Tormund still getting his giant's milk? Does he have this lady giant on retainer? Does he have a dealer? Can you get this stuff at a local retailer? Does he always have some on him? I need answers.
Nevertheless, Tormund is your new king.
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Seven-Day injured list: Which characters had their fates take a big hit heading into next week's episode?
- Sansa and Dany: These two attempted to clear the tension between them and it looked like they were making great progress but whoops, turns out they disagree on Sansa keeping the North after the war their little chat may have just made things worse. This rivalry could get interesting soon!
- Brienne of Tarth: The best moment of this week's episode when Brienne got knighted by Jaime, fulfilling a lifelong dream that she likely never thought would come true. She even smiled a big toothy smile, which was so foreign for her that it was honestly unsettling. A very awesome moment but also one that makes me think she's done for.
- Literally everyone else: The Great War has finally arrived, so... yeah. Everybody is pretty much on notice at this point.
