J.J. Watt, bouncer extraordinaire. (via @JJWatt)

If life conspired against J.J. Watt to create a different circumstances, it's not hard to fathom the Texans defensive end spending his days touring around with a country-music band, playing the role of bouncer, punishing anyone who dared to hop on stage and mess with his musician friends.

Real-life version: Watt was at a Zac Brown Band concert recently when some hipster doofus in a pork-pie hat decided to leap on stage and make a scene while dancing, only to get full-blown form tackled by Watt.

Now you know how NFL quarterbacks feel. Love the "you mess with me, you got problems" look from Watt after the David Caruso sunglasses tear. 

Yes, I'm aware it's entirely possible the video is fake. I don't care. I'd watch Watt go Terry Tate on this kid all day.