2019 Kentucky Derby: Ranking the names of every horse in the field
What's in a name? Everything, if you ask me
The Kentucky Derby can be one of the funnest sports days of the year, even if you're horse racing isn't your thing. Between the fashion, alcohol, gambling and overall pageantry, there's a little something for almost everyone to get excited about.
And of course there's the actual horses. The majestic, awe-inspiring beauts that headline the event are always worth appreciating, especially when they have great names attached to them. As someone who doesn't really follow horse racing too closely, learning the variety of names that pop up in the Kentucky Derby field every year is often one of the most enjoyable parts of Derby week.
Which horse is going to finish first at the Kentucky Derby? What huge long shot will hit the board? Visit SportsLine now to get Jody Demling's Kentucky Derby winner, see which huge long shot contends, and get the finish positions for every single horse, all from the man who's nailed 9 Derby-Oaks doubles.
It's also worth noting that many ignorant people, such as myself, often make their Derby bets solely based on the quality of a horse's name, so it's paramount to have a winner.
As such, let's go ahead and rank the monikers in this year's event.
21. Tax
The perfect name for a horse destined to cost you money on race day.
20. Haikal
Please don't make me attempt to Google the definition of your horse's name.
19. Master Fencer
It's no Master Baiter, but it will do.
18. Vekoma
Fun fact: Vekoma is also the name of a Dutch company that makes rollercoasters. Riding rollercoasters > riding horses.
17. Tacitus
Stick to sports.
16. Long Range Toddy
The only horse in the field that knows how to party.
15. Omaha Beach
Kinda dark, if we're being honest. (Update: He's scratched. A bad omen after all.)
14. Cutting Humor
Listen, pal, leave the jokes to me.
13. Bodexpress
How "express" can he really be if he's the last horse to get in the race?
12. Improbable
Bob Baffert owning a horse named Improbable is like Jeff Bezos naming his dog Poor.
11. Code of Honor
Sounds like the video game your parents accidentally get you for Christmas when you asked for 'Call of Duty.'
10. War of Will
The original name of "Stranger Things."
9. By My Standards
You know what they say...low horse wins.
8. Maximum Security
Not a terrible name but gotta think only getting an hour a day outside will hurt its chances.
7. Win Win Win
Actually, every horse in the field should be named after DJ Khaled lyrics.
6. Roadster
The perfect horse for your mid-life crisis. Only takes premium gas.
5. Gray Magician
Works exceptionally well if the horse's jockey refuses to let anyone pass.
4. Spinoff
CAN'T ANYONE THINK OF ANY FRESH, ORIGINAL NAMES THESE DAYS?!
3. Game Winner
Dame Lillard's longshot.
2. Country House
Honestly, every time I hear this name I can only think about Country Crock butter. I'm not mad about it though.
1. Plus Que Parfait
No jokes with this one. Just a ridiculous name that's very fun to say. It's what all horse names should strive to be.
















