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I'm still not sure what exactly I witnessed over the weekend, but I think I watched Andy Dalton helping a team get to the playoffs, which is crazy because usually when you use the words "Dalton" and "playoffs" in the same sentence, it's because the Bengals have lost again. 

Bills fans must have been secretly watching several Bengals playoff games over the years because they definitely didn't sound too confident Sunday when they found out that their only chance of getting to the postseason involved Andy Dalton's right arm. 

Dalton's right arm has been letting Bengals fans down for years, so it wasn't that shocking to see Bills fans also expecting to be let down, but that's not what happened. Instead, all Dalton did was set off possibly the coolest playoff-clinching celebration in NFL history. 

Dalton ended such a long playoff drought for the Bills that I'm pretty sure if he asked them for free Buffalo wings for life, a key to the city and partial ownership of Niagara Falls, the team would give it to him. He could probably also ask to have a statue of himself built outside the Bills' stadium and if that happens, I'm guessing it would look something like this. 

Throw some Zubaz pants on that statue and it would be the coolest thing in Buffalo. 

Dalton's last-second 49-yard touchdown pass against the Ravens put the Bills in the playoffs for the first time since 1999, which is important to note, because apparently, the 1999 NFL postseason is some sort of space-time continuum crossroads like Oct. 26, 1985 is to "Back to the Future."

First, Prince has a song called "1999," which ties into the playoffs this year because he's from Minnesota and that's where the Super Bowl is being played. Second, the Jaguars, Titans and Rams are all in the playoffs together for the first time since 1999. Third, the Jaguars are hosting a home playoff game for the first time since ... 1999. 

I could go on, but I"m starting to get more freaked out by this 1999 thing than I was by Dalton's touchdown pass, and that freaked me out a lot because Dalton is never that clutch. 

Speaking of not being clutch, let's get to this week's picks. 

Actually, before we get to the picks, I should mention that I'm adding one thing this week, which will be me trying to tell you why I might or might not know what I'm talking about in a certain game. I've tabulated all my picks from the season and now you'll know how I did picking each team. For instance, I went 12-4 picking Bills games, which I think makes me eligible for free wings in bars and restaurants across the city of Buffalo.  

Alright, now that we have that nugget out of the way, let's get to the picks. Don't forget, you can check out the wild-card picks from every CBSSports.com expert by clicking here. Oh, and just because I know you were wondering, my New Year's resolution for 2018 is to get more picks right, so let's hope I don't blow this right away. 

NFL Wild Card Picks

Saturday, Jan. 6

No. 5 Tennessee (9-7) at No. 4 Kansas City (10-6)
TV: 4:35 p.m. ET, ESPN/ABC
Line: Chiefs, -9 

I spent New Year's Eve in Nashville, Tennessee, which I'm only telling you about because my entire night consisted of talking to drunk Titans fans who couldn't believe their team actually made the playoffs. If you've ever tried to have a drunken New Year's conversation, you've probably noticed that they go all over the place and this was definitely no exception. I didn't keep tabs, but I think "fire Mularkey," "I hope we play the Jaguars in the playoffs" and "Wow, Blake Bortles is horrible" were the three things I heard the most that night. Also, I'm pretty sure the last two things are directly related because the Titans went 2-0 against the Jaguars this season and 7-7 against everyone else. As a matter of fact, the Titans dominated their division, going 5-1 against the AFC South and just 4-6 against everyone else. Unfortunately for the Titans, the Chiefs fall in the "everyone else" category. 

If you're like most of America and didn't pay much attention to the Titans this season, let me give you a quick refresher: They didn't have a 1,000-yard rusher, their quarterback threw more interceptions than touchdowns and they almost lost to the Browns. Also, their pass defense is horrible, they went 3-5 on the road and I'm pretty sure they're the only playoff team that's thinking about firing their coach. 

The one thing that does scare me about this game is that the Titans are 2-0 against Andy Reid in Kansas City. Also, if the Chiefs have proven one thing under Reid, it's that they're completely capable of finding new and fantastic ways to lose in the playoffs. Once the postseason starts, Reid seems to throw all logic out the window, along with his clock management skills and most of his decision-making abilities. To be safe, Reid should probably board up all the windows in his house before the postseason starts this year. 

If Dalton hadn't thrown that touchdown pass against the Ravens, the Titans would be playing the Jaguars this week and there's a 60 percent chance I would've picked them to win because the Jaguars are literally the only team in the postseason that I think the Titans can beat, which is good news for the Chiefs because they're not the Jaguars. 

The pick: Chiefs 30-16 over Titans

Record picking Chiefs games this season: 9-7

Record picking Titans games this season: 10-6

No. 6 Atlanta (10-6) at No. 3 Los Angeles Rams (11-5)

TV: 8:15 p.m. ET, NBC
Line: Rams, -6.5 

This might sound crazy, but if I had to go on the road for one game in the NFL playoffs, Los Angeles is definitely the place I would want to play. I mean, think about it: The Rams have no home-field advantage, it won't be cold and there's a 50 percent chance you'll see a celebrity, and if you're lucky, that celebrity will be Britney Spears. 

🍎🍎🍎

A post shared by Britney Spears (@britneyspears) on

Wait, whoops. I didn't mean to use that picture, I meant to use the one below of Britney actually at a Rams game, but we'll keep the other one there because why erase it at this point.

The Falcons have the better quarterback in this game, they'll have the best receiver on the field and statistically speaking, even their defense has been better this season. The Falcons surrendered fewer points and yards than the Rams . The Falcons also have way more playoff experience than the Rams, who will be playing in their first postseason game since January 2005. 

By the way, here's what Rams coach Sean McVay looked like the last time the Rams were in the playoffs. 

If I was picking the winner of the All Valley Karate Tournament, I'd definitely go with McVay. 

But I'm not picking a karate tournament here, I'm picking a football game. There are actually a lot of reasons to like the Rams in this game: They've been blowing teams out all season, Sean McVay is a millennial and I'm not completely sure anyone on the Falcons roster can tackle Todd Gurley. Also, McVay is from Atlanta, so I have to believe that it would be extra sweet for him to get this win. 

Unfortunately, I don't think that's going to happen. The last time the Rams were in the playoffs in 2005, the Falcons were the team that beat them and for some reason, I feel like things are going to come full circle with the Falcons knocking them out of the playoffs again. Wait, would that even be considered full circle or would full circle be if the Rams won this time? I'm not sure, but I'm picking the Falcons. 

The pick: Falcons 27-24 over Rams

Record picking Rams games this season: 7-9

Record picking Falcons games this season: 9-7

Sunday, January 7

No. 6 Buffalo (9-7) at No. 3 Jacksonville (10-6)
TV: 1:05 p.m. ET, CBS
Line: Jaguars, -9 

This is my favorite game of the weekend and I'm not just saying that because it's on CBS, although I do like the fact that it's on CBS because I love everything on CBS. (As you can clearly see, one of my New Year's resolutions was to suck up to my bosses more). 

Anyway, I love this game for a variety of reasons and one of those reasons is because it involves a plucky Bills team that's only in the playoffs because of an Andy Dalton miracle touchdown pass. Dalton can't eliminate a team from the playoffs when he's actually in the playoffs, but by God, he can eliminate anyone when it's the regular season. There's a 1,000 percent chance Dalton is more popular in Buffalo right now than he is in Cincinnati.

Not only do we have the plucky Bills, but we have a Jaguars team that's coached by a guy who hated Buffalo so much that he decided to ditch the team and run away with $4 million. That guy is Doug Marrone, and back in 2014, he opted out of his contract in a move that somehow paid him FOUR MILLION DOLLARS even though he's the one who opted out. 

Also, let's not forget about Marcell Dareus. Dareus used to play for the Bills, but they got tired of him, so they traded him to the Jaguars in October. When that trade went down, I'm guessing there was probably zero percent chance the Bills thought they would be playing the Jaguars in the playoffs this season. 

The biggest problem for the Bills in this game is that they're going to be going up against one of the NFL's best defenses without a healthy LeSean McCoy. McCoy was injured in Week 17 and there's a chance he could miss the game this week. Of course, even if a banged-up McCoy ends up playing, I don't really like his chances against the Jaguars defense.  

Without McCoy (or with a banged up McCoy), I have no idea how the Bills are going to score a single point in this game. Even if Blake Bortles throws nine interceptions, which is completely within the realm of possibility, I still think the Jags walk away with the win. 

The pick: Jaguars 23-13 over Bills

Record picking Jaguars games this season: 5-11

Record picking Bills games this season: 12-4

No. 5 Carolina (11-5) at No. 4 New Orleans (11-5)

TV: 4:40 p.m. ET, Fox
Line: Saints, -6.5

If I learned one thing from seeing "Hangover III" it's that you don't really need a third reiteration of something, which is what we're getting in this game even if we don't actually want it. Panthers fans might want to head down to Bourbon Street and start taking shots before this game because if Carolina's first two meetings with the Saints were any indication, it's going to be a long, horrible day for Carolina. And I've seen "Hangover III," so I know what it's like to experience a long, horrible day. 

When two division rivals meet in the playoffs, I don't necessarily pay attention to what happened during the regular season, but in this game, it's kind of hard to ignore. The Saints blew out the Panthers twice this year with wins of 34-13 and 31-21, and yes, I count that second score as a blowout because it was 31-14 late in the game until the Panthers scored a garbage-time touchdown. In the first game, Cam Newton threw three picks and the Panthers got blown out because of those and because they couldn't stop the run. In the second game, Newton didn't throw three picks, but the Panthers still couldn't stop the run as New Orleans averaged 5.3 yards per carry (They averaged 5.5 yards in the first game).

If the Saints pull off the win, they'll become the 14th team since 1970 to pull off a three-game sweep. Teams going for the sweep are 13-7 in the postseason over the past 47 years, which is kind of fitting because 47 will probably be how many drinks Panthers fans want after watching this game. Oh, and did I mention that the Saints haven't lost a home playoff game since January 1993 because I definitely can't pick against that. 

The pick: Saints 31-23 over Panthers

Record picking Saints games this season: 12-4

Record picking Panthers games this season: 9-7

Last Week

Best pick: In my Week 17 picks, I said that the Steelers backups would definitely be able to beat the Browns and then the Steelers backups went out and beat the Browns. Although the Browns lost on Sunday, the rest of us actually won. First, the 0-16 parade that Browns fans have been planning for the past six weeks is actually going to happen. I've never tried to plan a parade before, but it sounds complicated. 

The parade route is going to be shaped like a zero for 0-16. I'm not going to lie, Browns fans put more effort into planning this parade than the Browns did into playing the 2017 season. Hopefully they got Johnny Manziel to serve as Grand Marshal. 

The other magical part of 0-16 is that Browns coach Hue Jackson is now going to jump into Lake Erie. 

The Browns might be 0-16, but they're undefeated when it comes to weird offseason happenings. 

Worst pick: The worst pick this week isn't even a pick I got wrong. My worst pick in Week 17 was predicting that the Jets would score 13 points against the Patriots. I mean, this team is quarterbacked by a guy who doesn't even know how to put his helmet on correctly, and I picked them to score a touchdown against New England, which definitely didn't happen. 

I'm not saying Christian Hackenberg is a better quarterback, but I have to think, he at least knows how to put on his helmet correctly. 

My actual worse pick was taking the Broncos over the Chiefs. Thanks for nothing Paxton Lynch. 

Picks record

Straight up in Week 17: 10-6

Final 2017 regular season record SU: 161-95

Against the spread in Week 17: 10-6

Final 2017 regular season record ATS: 124-121-11

2016 wild-card record

Straight-up: 3-1

Against the spread: 2-2

You can find John Breech on Facebook or Twitter and if he's not doing one of those things, he's probably memorizing every Britney Spears song so he has something to talk about with her when they eventually run into each other at a future Rams game.