Everyone has been talking about pretty much the same thing for the past few days, so I thought I should definitely start this week by opening with that topic, and let me just say that I'm as shocked as anyone that Kylie Jenner is pregnant. 

I've been watching "Keeping up with the Kardashians" for 13 seasons and Kylie's pregnancy is the biggest TV twist I've seen since the Season 3 finale of "Lost". I don't actually remember what the Season 3 finale of "Lost" was about, but I remember being confused. Also, I don't actually know if Kylie's pregnancy will be featured on the show, but I'm assuming it will be because the chances of the Kardashians passing up a chance to milk their fame are about as likely as Tom Brady passing up a bowl of dairy-free, locally produced avocado ice cream.

The only bigger news from the weekend was about that guy who was saying crazy stuff. I'm not going to name names, but I think we all know who I'm talking about. Obviously, I'm talking about that guy who predicted that the world was going to end on Sept. 23. 

As it turns out, that guy is as good at making apocalyptic predictions as the Browns are at football. 

The funny thing about the apocalypse prediction is that I'm guessing the Ravens probably wish it had come true after the beatdown they took in London. The loss was so embarrassing Ravens coach John Harbaugh has pretty much decided that he's never taking his team to London again. 

I also wouldn't be surprised if he throws his passport away and refuses to ever travel anywhere again, because that trip was ugly. 

What Harbaugh clearly didn't realize is that the Jaguars are the Patriots of London. Over the past three years, the Patriots have been dominating the NFL here in the U.S. On the other hand, guess who has been dominating in England: THE LONDON JAGUARS. 

I have no idea why the Jaguars have been so good in London, but I'm guessing it has something to do with the fact that I'm pretty sure Blake Bortles' entire diet consists of only of tea and crumpets while he's over there, because there's no other explanation. 

Brady does avocado ice cream, Bortles does tea and crumpets, and that basically explains why they're the two best quarterbacks in the NFL right now. 

Anyway, that's enough talking about the two best quarterbacks in NFL history, let's get to the picks. 

Actually, before we get to the picks this week, here's a friendly reminder that this week marks the first time Amazon will be streaming NFL games. Not only will the Bears-Packers game on "Thursday Night Football" air live on CBS (and NFL Network), but Amazon will be streaming the game. I would give you my password so you can check out the stream, but I think Amazon frowns upon that. 

After milking my Amazon Prime account for all the free two-day shipping that anyone could ever possibly want over the past year, it will be nice to use it for something football-related. 

Speaking of things that are football related, here's a dog doing an impression of every Broncos fan following Denver's loss to Buffalo on Sunday. 

If a drunk dog in a Broncos jersey doesn't put you in the mood to read NFL picks, I don't know what will.

Let's get to the picks (Also, you can check out the rest of the expert picks here at CBSSports.com by clicking here)  

NFL Week 4 Picks

Detroit (2-1) at Minnesota (2-1)

1 p.m. ET (Fox) 

If someone ever decides to turn the history of the Lions franchise into a book, Stephen King would definitely need to write it because he's the only one alive who could possibly do justice trying to explain all the horrors this franchise has faced. The cover of the book could even feature Roary the Lion trying to maul a small child. 

Following the picture of Roary mauling a child, the first chapter of the book could talk about the day the Lions lost a heartbreaking game to the Falcons and then headed to their locker room where they found that ALL THEIR POSTGAME FOOD HAD CAUGHT ON FIRE. 

If that's not a metaphor for the Lions' loss to the Falcons, I don't know what is. 

The latest loss in the house of horrors that is the history of the Lions came against the Falcons. On the final play of the game, Golden Tate was originally awarded a touchdown. However, after review, it was ruled that he got tackled on the 1-yard line, and because every rule in the NFL rule book always seems to go against the Lions, the officiating crew called a 10-second runoff, which ended the game. 

The sad part is that as horrible as all that sounds, I don't even think that's in the top five for worst Lions losses ever. 

Let's take a look. 

Calvin Johnson rule loss: Check. 

Fake flag playoff loss to Cowboys: Check. 

Batted ball loss to Seahawks: Check. 

Miracle in Motown Hail Mary loss to Aaron Rodgers: Check. 

10-second runoff loss to Falcons: Check. 

OK, so it's in the top five. 

I think the point I'm trying to make here is that this game is setting up perfectly for another Lions disaster, and that's going to happen even though we don't even know who the Vikings' starting quarterback is going to be. Last year, the Lions eked out two wins over the Vikings, a 22-16 overtime win and a 16-13 victory in the rematch. This year I think the Vikings return the favor, and when that happens, someone's probably going to have to update that super sad video we just watched. At this point, they should probably just cut the music and add a voice-over by Stephen King. 

The pick: Vikings 22-19 over Lions 

Pittsburgh (2-1) at Baltimore (2-1) 

1 p.m. ET (CBS)

The Ravens don't have a bye this week because they told the NFL not to give them one after their trip to London, and I have to say, I don't really think they thought this through. Not only did the Ravens have to jump on an eight-hour flight home after the game, but they also have to figure out how to replace their starting defensive end (he was injured against the Jaguars), and they really need to figure out how to fix Joe Flacco, because he definitely seems broken. When you play so bad that you get benched against the Jaguars, that's arguably the definition of rock bottom in the NFL, and that's what Flacco hit in Week 3. 

The good news for the Ravens is that they're not the only team in turmoil entering this game. The Steelers seem to be in the middle of an existential crisis after losing to the Bears on Sunday. Apparently, the Steelers weren't on the same page about the pregame actions they decided to take in Chicago, and we know that because Ben Roethlisberger released a statement on his website (which might be older than him). Seriously, Roethlisberger's website might actually be the first webpage. 

Anyway, if you need an idea of how bad Flacco has been this season, please keep this stat in mind: The Ravens' leading receiver this year only has 103 yards through three games. Antonio Brown topped that Sunday. The Ravens rank dead last in total offense, which means that if they're going to win, they're going to need their defense to carry them (like usual) and if Sunday's game in London is any indication, the defense might not be cut out for that anymore. 

The pick: Steelers 23-16 over Ravens

Oakland (2-1) at Denver (2-1) 

4:25 p.m. ET (CBS): 

If you thought things were bad in Oakland after the Raiders got blown out Sunday night, just wait until you see what's happening in Denver. Either there's a city-wide power outage and people are in serious need of heat or someone's really upset with Von Miller. 

The person above clearly isn't upset with Miller for football reasons, but it would be understandable if he was because Miller made one of the biggest blunders of the game against Buffalo. Midway through the fourth quarter, Miller got flagged for pulling one of the oldest tricks in the book on Bills quarterback Tyrod Taylor in Denver's 26-16 loss. 

The good news for the Broncos this week is that they get a chance to rebound by going up against a Raiders team that only put up 128 yards of total offense Sunday. If you want to know how bad that is, only five teams have put up 130 yards or less in a game since 2014. The bad news for the Raiders is that those five teams went 0-4 in their following game. Basically, when your offense is that bad, it's almost impossible to fix all your problems in one week. It's also almost impossible to fix all your problems when you have to do the fixing against one of the best defenses in the league, and that's what the Raiders will have to do against the Broncos. If the Redskins defense shut down the Raiders, I'm almost afraid of what the Broncos will do. 

Now, this is the part where I tell you that I'm going to pick the Broncos, but that it actually means nothing because I'm 0-3 picking Denver games this season. I'm only mentioning this because they're the ONLY TEAM in the NFL I've completely whiffed on. It's like opposite day, just do the opposite of what I pick when the Broncos are playing. 

The only thing uglier than my ability to pick Broncos games was these three contestants who showed up on "Jeopardy!" and tried to do an NFL topic. 

The pick: Broncos 27-17 over Raiders

Big Apple special because New York teams don't get enough attention  

Jacksonville (2-1) at N.Y. Jets (1-2) 

1 p.m. ET (CBS)

We now live in a world where Blake Bortles has thrown fewer picks than Aaron Rodgers, and to be honest, I'm not sure that's a world I'm ready to live in. The fact that Bortles was one of the top three quarterbacks of Week 3 is kind of a minor miracle when you consider that just one month ago, Bortles was so horrible that there was speculation that the Jaguars might cut him. 

The thing about Bortles is that you have a better chance of winning the lottery seven times in a row than Bortles does of playing two straight good games. In Jacksonville's win over Baltimore, Bortles threw four touchdown passes for the third time in his career, which is impressive, except for the fact that in the two prior games, he had a total meltdown the following week. The other two times Bortles threw four touchdown passes, he followed it up with a three-interception game and a two-interception game. I say he continues that trend, but Josh McCown throws even more interceptions against a Jaguars defense that will probably sack him 11 times. 

WELCOME TO SACKSONVILLE, JOSH MCCOWN, where the population is you, a jukebox and the five people in the video below. 

I really hope this Sacksonville name sticks because I want to use it at least once a week for the rest of the season. I also hope the Jaguars jump out to a 37-0 lead again so we can see another fake punt. 

The pick: Jaguars 20-17 over Jets

N.Y. Giants (0-3) at Tampa Bay (1-1)

4:05 p.m. ET (Fox)

The Buccaneers got rolled by the Vikings in Week 3, which is bad news for the Bucs because the Giants are basically the Vikings on steroids. Not actual steroids, because that would be illegal, but the Giants are arguably better at most positions that gave the Buccaneers fits against Minnesota. Case Keenum put up 369 yards passing on Tampa's defense, and if my math is right, that converts to about 475 yards for Eli Manning. Also, Stefon Diggs racked up 173 yards receiving against Tampa, which converts to about 279 yards for Odell Beckham. 

Don't ask me how I do my conversions, because i'm not at liberty to say. All I can tell you is that they're sometimes accurate, except when they aren't, which also pretty much describes Eli's entire NFL career. I hate picking a winless team to win any game ever, but I'm jumping on the Giants bandwagon this week, and I think it's because part of me is hoping Beckham will maybe try and appeal to cat people with his end zone celebrations this week. 

Also, I went to a yoga class once, and I think I actually did that move. I can't say for sure, though, because it was five years ago and I can't even remember what I had for dinner five days ago. 

The pick: Giants 27-20 over Buccaneers

NFL Week 4 picks: All the rest

Last Week 

Best pick: Last week, I predicted that the Packers would score 27 points and win a squeaker over the Bengals, and guess what happened? The Packers scored 27 points and won a squeaker over the Bengals. 

Did I know that Bengals would blow a 21-7 lead? Of course I did. If there's one thing I've learned about the Bengals over the past decade, it's that Marvin Lewis is the king of not making second-half adjustments. There's a 45 percent chance that Mike McCarthy let the Bengals jump out to a 21-7 first half lead, just so he could out-adjust Lewis at halftime. 

As for Andy Dalton, we're now at the point in the season where Bengals fans are begging a quarterback to come out of retirement to replace their starting quarterback. 

I have to say, giving up on your starting quarterback after only three games is pretty early, even by Andy Dalton standards. To be fair, though, it's not a horrible request because Tony Romo can do something Andy Dalton can't do, which is recognize a simple blitz. 

Unfortunately for Bengals fans, Tony has always wanted to work at the same company as me, so I can't see him leaving the booth anytime soon. Actually, that's not true, in reality people actually hate working with me because all I ever do is talk about the latest episode of "Keeping up with the Kardashians"..

Worst pick: Last week, I predicted that the Ravens would roll the Jaguars in London, and then unsurprisingly, the opposite thing happened because I clearly have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to picking games in England. My streak of picking London games incorrectly is now at seven. This has basically turned into the Joe DiMaggio hitting streak of bad picks. 

Now, since this streak clearly can't be my fault, I've decided to blame the entire thing on Dan Marino. You see, my streak of futility started in October 2015 when I picked the Dolphins to beat the Jets in London and then the Dolphins lost. Marino was in England for the game and he jinxed everything, just like he jinxed Ray Finkle's career by not holding the ball laces out in the waning seconds Super Bowl XVII. Even Prince Harry knows Marino did Finkle wrong. 

The Dolphins are returning to England this week, which I think means the Marino jinx has come full circle, so I might actually get my Saints-Dolphins pick right. On the other hand, there's a 75 percent chance I'll get it wrong and end up matching DiMaggio's streak of 56, except my streak will be wrong picks and not hits. 

Finally, if you guys have ever wondered which teams I'm actually good at picking, here's a quick look: 

Teams I'm 3-0 picking this year: Eagles, Lions, Giants, Seahawks, Cardinals. 

Teams I'm 0-3 picking this year: Broncos, Dolphins (0-2). 

Picks Record

Straight up in Week 3: 8-8

SU overall: 28-19

Against the spread in Week 3: 8-8

ATS overall: 21-26 

You can find John Breech on Facebook or Twitter and if he's not doing one of those things, there's an 85 percent chance he's having a Keeping up with the Kardashians marathon.