During the course of the regular season, This Week in (Dumb) Baseball will run on Mondays, looking back at some of the more dumb/fun moments from the past week. This time around, though, I moved it to Tuesday so we'd have the full opening day in the books. And boy, did it deliver.

As regular readers already know, this feature has the title, sure, but it's mostly for fun. Keep that in mind.

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1. Wrigley Field bathroom fail

There's no way to marginalize this. I was there and witnessed the debacle first hand. Sitting above the upper deck concourse, I can vouch that it was full of people from the middle of the first inning through roughly the sixth inning before it finally cleared out. No vendors could get through because of the foot traffic, meaning people who got hungry or thirsty had to go to the concession stand, and that influx of extra bodies also meant those lines were ridiculously long as well. Even those who didn't have to use the restroom or get anything to eat or drink could have been affected, because those in the front rows of the upper deck sections above the concourse were having views blocked by people for nearly six innings.

This doesn't even have much to do with the under-construction bleachers. Those are separate. It was the closed bathrooms -- especially in the upper deck, where the only walkway between gates is in the seating area -- and then the domino effect to the rest of the park when those lines spilled over.

It was an unmitigated disaster.

2. Miami roof fail

So you get the good citizens of South Florida to fund your shiny new home and provide it with a retractable roof and the opening day game experiences a rain delay?

Well, club president -- and apparently amateur weather man -- David Samson took the blame, telling reporters he was monitoring the weather on his phone and didn't think it was going to rain. Via the Associated Press, here's Samson breaking the news to club owner Jeffrey Loria:

"I said to Jeffrey, 'We're going to have a rain delay.' And he said, 'I thought we had a roof,'" Samson said with a sheepish smile.

Ouch.

Not only is this a franchise desperately trying to win over a rightfully reluctant fan base, but the wet conditions caused Dee Gordon -- a speedy offseason acquisition -- to fall down later in the game. Samson reportedly apologized to Gordon.

But man, that's rough. The best guess is that having the club president attempt to play weather man and decide on when the roof should be open isn't the best route here.

And then this happened Tuesday:

[I'll pause for laughter]

Anyway, the roof is closed now, so the Tuesday night game will go on undelayed.

3. Metal detector delays!

MLB mandates that all ballparks have to have fans pass through metal detectors to get into the games now. In Yankee Stadium, this presented major delays with some fans waiting over an hour to get into the stadium. That's outrageous. Since I mentioned I was at Wrigley Sunday night, I will point out that it took me about five minutes to get through the security there.

Anyway, this might be where someone screams that if it makes the ballpark safer, we should all be in favor of it and get there earlier. I'd first like to ask those people how many stadium shootings we've had the past several years, first of all. Secondly, many studies say that metal detectors don't significantly alter criminal activity. In fact, as Vice Sports pointed out last September, with thousands of people standing around outside the stadium for an hour, wouldn't it be a lot easier to knock them off than trying to get through security and into the stadium? Let's be logical here.

These people may have been waiting for over an hour.
These people may have been waiting for over an hour. (USATSI)

Still, I'm ultimately OK with the detectors if it could be streamlined. I like to feel safe. If everyone does it as quickly as the people at Wrigley did Sunday, there's little harm in it. But over an hour? That's lunacy. You're already asking people to pay upwards of triple figures to sit through a three-hour game, now they have to get there at least an hour earlier than they're used to? That's not right.

4. Opening day overreactions

There's little reason to go back over this, as I've already covered it a few times in this very column, but it's amazing how much some people have the ability to freak out about things happening in a single game that kicks off the beginning of a 162-game marathon. NFL mentality, perhaps? One game is a huge deal there. Obviously you don't want to lose opening day in baseball, but good lord, there were some excessively #HotTakes in light of what happened on opening day, especially from local Chicago and DC columnists. Settle the hell down, people. This is baseball.

As is customary in these parts, time to wash away the dumb with some fun.

Thief of the week

Tigers left fielder, Yoenis Cespedes, c'mon down

Player tweet of the week

Jake Arrieta, bringing it strong with a funny Kris Bryant mention:

Minor League food item of the week

This is an aptly named half-pound burger with an egg, fried onions, bacon, cheese, chipotle bacon mayo with grilled cheese sandwiches serving as the "bun."

First pitch of the week

Not from MLB, but this is money, from Korean Baseball Organization:

Possibly dumb pop culture ranking of the week

My top five "Seinfeld" episodes

1. The Mango
2. The Contest
3. The Outing
4. The Soup Nazi
5. The Rye

The descriptions are linked up above, but The Mango is one of the most underrated episodes in TV history, overshadowed on this show by The Contest, The Bubble Boy and many other episodes, but the "faked it" stuff is just hilarious. At the time, it was groundbreaking.

Anyway, that'll do it. Have a great first week of baseball!

Suggestions (dumb stuff, random videos, baseball cards, pop culture rankings topics, etc.) or hate mail? Feel free to hit me up: matt.snyder@cbs.com or you could always go to Twitter (@MattSnyderCBS).