For almost a year, LaVar Ball has been spouting ridiculous, nonsensical diatribes for our enjoyment. With his son, Lonzo, getting his first taste of NBA action with the Lakers in Summer League, we felt it our duty to rank LaVar's 15 most outrageous quotes, eliciting responses from "I can't believe he said that" to "this man needs to be committed."
Sit back and enjoy the madness.
Credit: CBS Sports graphic
Do we have the same definition of genius?
Newton, Einstein, Hawking ... Ball. Leave it to LaVar Ball to take credit for the random behavior of constantly rotating ping pong balls.
When he said, "We're not even competing with Nike," we were on board. Why did he have to keep talking?
No pressure, son
Predicting his son would win Rookie of the Year would be just an everyday quote for LaVar, but adding the detail about having the trophy already is straight gold.
Get him on the court and he's trouble
LaVar basically said he'd beat ANYONE in the world in a game of one-on-one. Interesting tidbit: LaVar averaged 2.2 points in one season at Washington State. Just throwing that out there.
The level of assumption is just ridiculous. Not only are all three Ball boys (Lonzo, LiAngelo and LaMelo) going to make the NBA, but they're also all going to be on the Lakers AND win five straight titles. Oh, to live one day inside LaVar's mind.
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Let's see that spreadsheet
When you're trying to get people to pay $495 for a pair of shoes, maybe you don't tell them these kicks are nothing more than stitching and glue. Perhaps we're just unable to understand because we're not Big Ballers.
Credit: Getty Images
OK, now it makes sense
Glad that's cleared up.
Summer league playoffs?
The Lakers went 26-56 in 2016-17. The lowest Western Conference playoff seed won 41 games. Ipso facto, Lonzo will be worth at least 15 wins in his rookie year. LaVar math, folks!
You know what, he's right. Michael Jordan is not Lonzo Ball. 100 percent accurate.
Chuck prefers danish
LaVar got into a little war of words with Charles Barkley, and decided to go directly for the low-hanging fruit -- or low-hanging donuts in this case.
The Magic touch
Magic is a Hall of Famer, a five-time champion, three-time MVP and three-time Finals MVP. Lonzo is 19 years old and hasn't played a game in the NBA. Maybe a wee bit premature, here?
Take it easy, dad
Every parent thinks the world of their child, but only one parent is crazy enough to say his son is the best basketball player in world as a 19-year-old college freshman.
Tears of joy?
Here we go, now we're entering CrazyTown. We assume LaVar meant that Jordan would cry from embarrassment or punishment, and not from uncontrollable laughter at LaVar's short shorts.
A big white lie
We could point out all the NCAA title teams that featured three or more white players, but that would be giving this insanity too much credibility. Instead we'll use the only explanation we can … crazy pills.
It's the quote that started the LaVar madness and it's the one he'll take to his grave. There's nothing more ridiculous than saying your college freshman son is better -- RIGHT NOW -- than the two-time reigning MVP.