Planning on drafting Twins pitcher Carlos Silva this season? Go ahead, we dare you.
He's our No. 1 in "who's who" of "who cares?" It's the second annual Bizarro Baseball league draft.
In one of CBS SportsLine's annual rites of spring, nine of our Fantasy analysts and one Mr. Larry Dobrow, this website's guest columnist extraordinare and notable online funny man, got together to pick the players you shouldn't be picking this March.
In this league, the purpose is to have hitters who get a lot of at-bats, but make a lot of outs. Here it's special to have a guy who is good enough to get at-bats and consistently do nothing with them. Hello, projected 2007 Bizarro MVP Cristian Guzman and welcome back 2006 Bizarro MVP Brad Ausmus.
| Batting Scoring | |
| 1B - Singles | -6 points |
| 2B - Doubles | -10 points |
| 3B - Triples | -14 points |
| AB - At Bats | 4 points |
| BB - Walks (Batters) | -4 points |
| CS - Caught Stealing | 4 points |
| HR - Home Runs | -20 points |
| KO - Strikeouts (Batter) | 3 points |
| R - Runs | -4 points |
| RBI - Runs Batted In | -4 points |
| SB - Stolen Bases | -8 points |
| Pitching Scoring | |
| APP - Appearances | 3 points |
| BBI - Walks Issued (Pitchers) | 5 points |
| BS - Blown Saves | 15 points |
| HA - Hits Allowed | 2 points |
| HRA - Home Runs Allowed | 10 points |
| INN - Innings | 2 points |
| K - Strikeouts (Pitcher) | -15 points |
| L - Losses | 15 points |
| QS - Quality Starts | -5 points |
| RA - Runs Allowed | 5 points |
| S - Saves | -15 points |
| W - Wins | -25 points |
With pitchers, you want to see someone who consistently takes one for the team, like Jason Marquis did multiple times for the Cardinals last season. He gave up 13 runs in one outing and 12 in another last season, staying out there just so the Cardinals could save their bullpen.
Granted some of these guys are obviously terrible and shouldn't be on any Fantasy radars. But how about popular 2006 Fantasy pick-up Gary Matthews. Dobrow boldly went ahead and picked the $50 million man 38th overall in this league that rewards futility.
And, frankly, we agree. Matthews is not a good player to have in Fantasy -- despite his surprising year that led to his ridiculous contract. Guys who get at-bats because they can handle the glove are golden.
So, use this league to find some projected busts. Or start a Bizarro Baseball league of your own.
CBS SportsLine is a versatile Fantasy commissioner service, so much so, it can be set up to run a Bizarro Baseball Fantasy league just like this one. Our 10-team, 15-round draft was held Feb. 23 and took about two hours of our lives.
By the way, in a new feature on our website, you can follow this league throughout the year at this link.
Ignore the selections of Albert Pujols and Daisuke Matsuzaka in the last round. Those fruit-loops picked those guys as a joke, which Pujols and Matsuzaka most certainly will not be.
| Bizarro Baseball draft results | |||
| Round 1 | |||
| 1 | David Gonos | Carlos Silva (SP MIN) | |
| 2 | Michael J. Hurcomb | Adam Everett (SS HOU) | |
| 3 | Larry Dobrow | Brad Ausmus (C HOU) | |
| 4 | Dave Richard | Brian N. Anderson (OF CHW) | |
| 5 | Sergio Gonzalez | Jack Wilson (SS PIT) | |
| 6 | Tony Fernandez | Cristian Guzman (SS WAS) | |
| 7 | Jamey Eisenberg | Angel M. Berroa (SS KC) | |
| 8 | Eric Mack | Pedro Feliz (3B SF) | |
| 9 | Peter Madden | John Buck (C KC) | |
| 10 | J. Darin Darst | Jason Kendall (C OAK) | |
| Round 2 | |||
| 11 | J. Darin Darst | Ben Zobrist (SS TB) | |
| 12 | Peter Madden | David Eckstein (SS STL) | |
| 13 | Eric Mack | Yuniesky Betancourt (SS SEA) | |
| 14 | Jamey Eisenberg | Brian Schneider (C WAS) | |
| 15 | Tony Fernandez | Steve Trachsel (SP BAL) | |
| 16 | Sergio Gonzalez | Gerald Laird (C TEX) | |
| 17 | Dave Richard | Royce Clayton (SS TOR) | |
| 18 | Larry Dobrow | Jason Marquis (SP CHC) | |
| 19 | Michael J. Hurcomb | Nook Logan (OF WAS) | |
| 20 | David Gonos | Luis Castillo (2B MIN) | |
| Round 3 | |||
| 21 | David Gonos | Mark Ellis (2B OAK) | |
| 22 | Michael J. Hurcomb | Rodrigo Lopez (SP COL) | |
| 23 | Larry Dobrow | Cesar Izturis (SS CHC) | |
| 24 | Dave Richard | Ty Wigginton (1B TB) | |
| 25 | Sergio Gonzalez | Doug Mientkiewicz (1B NYY) | |
| 26 | Tony Fernandez | Nick Punto (3B MIN) | |
| 27 | Jamey Eisenberg | Shea Hillenbrand (1B ANA) | |
| 28 | Eric Mack | Darin Erstad (OF CHW) | |
| 29 | Peter Madden | Kaz Matsui (2B COL) | |
| 30 | J. Darin Darst | Chris Duffy (OF PIT) | |
| Round 4 | |||
| 31 | J. Darin Darst | Ronny Cedeno (SS CHC) | |
| 32 | Peter Madden | Jeremy Reed (OF SEA) | |
| 33 | Eric Mack | Tony Armas (SP PIT) | |
| 34 | Jamey Eisenberg | Abraham O. Nunez (3B PHI) | |
| 35 | Tony Fernandez | Dioner Navarro (C TB) | |
| 36 | Sergio Gonzalez | Jose Castillo (2B PIT) | |
| 37 | Dave Richard | Yadier Molina (C STL) | |
| 38 | Larry Dobrow | Gary Matthews (OF ANA) | |
| 39 | Michael J. Hurcomb | Adam Kennedy (2B STL) | |
| 40 | David Gonos | Alex Sanchez (OF FLA) | |
| Round 5 | |||
| 41 | David Gonos | Garret Anderson (OF ANA) | |
| 42 | Michael J. Hurcomb | Chone Figgins (OF ANA) | |
| 43 | Larry Dobrow | Craig Biggio (2B HOU) | |
| 44 | Dave Richard | Gil Meche (SP KC) | |
| 45 | Sergio Gonzalez | Willy Taveras (OF COL) | |
| 46 | Tony Fernandez | Odalis Perez (SP KC) | |
| 47 | Jamey Eisenberg | Corey Patterson (OF BAL) | |
| 48 | Eric Mack | Sean Casey (1B DET) | |
| 49 | Peter Madden | Alex Gonzalez (SS CIN) | |
| 50 | J. Darin Darst | Wes Helms (3B PHI) | |
| Round 6 | |||
| 51 | J. Darin Darst | Shin-Soo Choo (OF CLE) | |
| 52 | Peter Madden | Jeff Weaver (SP SEA) | |
| 53 | Eric Mack | Jerome Williams (SP WAS) | |
| 54 | Jamey Eisenberg | Mark Redman (SP KC) | |
| 55 | Tony Fernandez | Aubrey Huff (1B BAL) | |
| 56 | Sergio Gonzalez | Randy Winn (OF SF) | |
| 57 | Dave Richard | Sergio Mitre (SP FLA) | |
| 58 | Larry Dobrow | Jaret Wright (SP BAL) | |
| 59 | Michael J. Hurcomb | Luke Hudson (RP KC) | |
| 60 | David Gonos | James Shields (SP TB) | |
| Round 7 | |||
| 61 | David Gonos | Jason Hammel (SP TB) | |
| 62 | Michael J. Hurcomb | Brian Bannister (SP KC) | |
| 63 | Larry Dobrow | Xavier Nady (OF PIT) | |
| 64 | Dave Richard | Casey Fossum (SP TB) | |
| 65 | Sergio Gonzalez | Byung-Hyun Kim (SP COL) | |
| 66 | Tony Fernandez | Preston Wilson (OF STL) | |
| 67 | Jamey Eisenberg | Matt Garza (SP MIN) | |
| 68 | Eric Mack | Mark Kotsay (OF OAK) | |
| 69 | Peter Madden | Juan Encarnacion (OF STL) | |
| 70 | J. Darin Darst | Jae Seo (SP TB) | |
| Round 8 | |||
| 71 | J. Darin Darst | Shawn Chacon (SP PIT) | |
| 72 | Peter Madden | Scott Baker (SP MIN) | |
| 73 | Eric Mack | Wandy Rodriguez (SP HOU) | |
| 74 | Jamey Eisenberg | Ronnie Belliard (2B WAS) | |
| 75 | Tony Fernandez | Adam Eaton (SP PHI) | |
| 76 | Sergio Gonzalez | Seth McClung (RP TB) | |
| 77 | Dave Richard | Mark DeRosa (2B CHC) | |
| 78 | Larry Dobrow | Doug Davis (SP ARI) | |
| 79 | Michael J. Hurcomb | Rondell White (OF MIN) | |
| 80 | David Gonos | Scott Hatteberg (1B CIN) | |
| Round 9 | |||
| 81 | David Gonos | Jorge De La Rosa (RP KC) | |
| 82 | Michael J. Hurcomb | Ryan Franklin (SP STL) | |
| 83 | Larry Dobrow | Brandon Inge (3B DET) | |
| 84 | Dave Richard | Joey Gathright (OF KC) | |
| 85 | Sergio Gonzalez | Scott Podsednik (OF CHW) | |
| 86 | Tony Fernandez | Jacque Jones (OF CHC) | |
| 87 | Jamey Eisenberg | Jose A. Bautista (OF PIT) | |
| 88 | Eric Mack | Mark Grudzielanek (2B KC) | |
| 89 | Peter Madden | Corey Koskie (3B MIL) | |
| 90 | J. Darin Darst | Mike Maroth (SP DET) | |
| Round 10 | |||
| 91 | J. Darin Darst | Josh Fogg (SP COL) | |
| 92 | Peter Madden | Russ Ortiz (SP SF) | |
| 93 | Eric Mack | Miguel Olivo (C FLA) | |
| 94 | Jamey Eisenberg | Reggie D. Abercrombie (OF FLA) | |
| 95 | Tony Fernandez | Jeff Francoeur (OF ATL) | |
| 96 | Sergio Gonzalez | Wilson Betemit (3B LA) | |
| 97 | Dave Richard | Gavin Floyd (SP CHW) | |
| 98 | Larry Dobrow | Jamie Moyer (SP PHI) | |
| 99 | Michael J. Hurcomb | Gregg Zaun (C TOR) | |
| 100 | David Gonos | Akinori Iwamura (3B TB) | |
| Round 11 | |||
| 101 | David Gonos | Aaron Hill (2B TOR) | |
| 102 | Michael J. Hurcomb | Kelly Johnson (2B ATL) | |
| 103 | Larry Dobrow | Kevin Millar (1B BAL) | |
| 104 | Dave Richard | Kyle Lohse (SP CIN) | |
| 105 | Sergio Gonzalez | Mike Hampton (SP ATL) | |
| 106 | Tony Fernandez | Brad B. Wilkerson (OF TEX) | |
| 107 | Jamey Eisenberg | Sean Burnett (SP PIT) | |
| 108 | Eric Mack | Terrmel Sledge (OF SD) | |
| 109 | Peter Madden | Travis Lee (1B WAS) | |
| 110 | J. Darin Darst | Ryan Langerhans (OF ATL) | |
| Round 12 | |||
| 111 | J. Darin Darst | Jeremy Affeldt (RP COL) | |
| 112 | Peter Madden | Shawn Green (OF NYM) | |
| 113 | Eric Mack | Omar Vizquel (SS SF) | |
| 114 | Jamey Eisenberg | J.P. Howell (SP TB) | |
| 115 | Tony Fernandez | Eric Milton (SP CIN) | |
| 116 | Sergio Gonzalez | Sidney Ponson (SP MIN) | |
| 117 | Dave Richard | Braden Looper (RP STL) | |
| 118 | Larry Dobrow | Juan Pierre (OF LA) | |
| 119 | Michael J. Hurcomb | Scott Thorman (1B ATL) | |
| 120 | David Gonos | Ronny Paulino (C PIT) | |
| Round 13 | |||
| 121 | David Gonos | Emil Brown (OF KC) | |
| 122 | Michael J. Hurcomb | Salomon Torres (RP PIT) | |
| 123 | Larry Dobrow | Antonio Alfonseca (RP PHI) | |
| 124 | Dave Richard | Chris Burke (2B HOU) | |
| 125 | Sergio Gonzalez | B.J. Upton (3B TB) | |
| 126 | Tony Fernandez | Dan Kolb (RP PIT) | |
| 127 | Jamey Eisenberg | Brian Meadows (RP CIN) | |
| 128 | Eric Mack | Kyle Davies (SP ATL) | |
| 129 | Peter Madden | Horacio Ramirez (SP SEA) | |
| 130 | J. Darin Darst | Aaron Miles (2B STL) | |
| Round 14 | |||
| 131 | J. Darin Darst | Lance Niekro (1B SF) | |
| 132 | Peter Madden | Ray King (RP WAS) | |
| 133 | Eric Mack | Matt Herges (RP COL) | |
| 134 | Jamey Eisenberg | Jason Grilli (RP DET) | |
| 135 | Tony Fernandez | Marcus Giles (2B SD) | |
| 136 | Sergio Gonzalez | Ricky Nolasco (SP FLA) | |
| 137 | Dave Richard | Jay Payton (OF BAL) | |
| 138 | Larry Dobrow | LaTroy Hawkins (RP COL) | |
| 139 | Michael J. Hurcomb | Mike Lowell (3B BOS) | |
| 140 | David Gonos | Claudio Vargas (SP MIL) | |
| Round 15 | |||
| 141 | David Gonos | Jose Mesa (RP DET) | |
| 142 | Michael J. Hurcomb | Tim Redding (SP WAS) | |
| 143 | Larry Dobrow | Jose Valentin (2B NYM) | |
| 144 | Dave Richard | Albert Pujols (1B STL) | |
| 145 | Sergio Gonzalez | Daisuke Matsuzaka (SP BOS) | |
| 146 | Tony Fernandez | Brandon McCarthy (SP TEX) | |
| 147 | Jamey Eisenberg | Jamey Carroll (2B COL) | |
| 148 | Eric Mack | Bruce Chen (RP TEX) | |
| 149 | Peter Madden | Danny Graves (RP COL) | |
| 150 | J. Darin Darst | Armando Benitez (RP SF) | |
You play in a Fantasy Baseball league with an odd-ball structure or scoring system? We want to hear about it, especially Senior Fantasy Writer David Gonos, who will be cobbling together the highlights for his annual exercise in March madness, Fantasy Baseball edition.
E-mail us at DMFantasyBaseball@cbs.com. Be sure to put Attn: Quirky Leagues in the subject field. Please include your full name, hometown and state. We will be posting the best and most interesting submissions.
