50 awesome and weird reasons to get excited for the NBA season

Anthony Davis is the most exciting thing about this upcoming season. (Getty)

With the NBA season set to open Tuesday, this year has more excitement than I can remember about a league season set to tip off. Unlike previous years centered around narratives and free agency or trade plot lines, this season looks to be all about basketball. New stars, LeBron back in Cleveland, and all the little things that make the NBA such a great game throughout the year for hard-core fans, they're all set to make for a great season.

Here's a look at 50 awesome reasons to be excited about the 2014-2015 NBA season.

1. Anthony Davis and the Arrival: Look, I'm not saying he is an alien. I'm saying ... If you were an extraterrestrial life form, you wanted to explore our planet and happened to be so long that anyone would recognize your limbs that go past your knees, along with that antennae thing you have on your face ... wouldn't NBA player be a pretty good cover?

Oh, yeah, "he just grew" from a point guard into a 7-foot pterodactyl. That's totally normal. That's what the government wants you to think.

Basically, this:

And if that's the case, then this season very well could be when the alien forces take over the planet and enslave all mankind. Because we should be clear, here.

Anthony Davis is not human. And he's coming for the NBA.

Davis is the most exciting thing about the NBA this season, despite playing on national television only 10 times, non-NBA only twice. Davis is a revelation. His wing-span somehow likely has grown since joining the league, and now stands somewhere at least within reasonable range of 7 feet, 7 3/4 inches long. That, combined with his unreasonable vertical means that he's able to leap straight up, extend his arms, and snatch rebounds or block shots like Inspector Gadget. Dude just needs a helicopter helmet.

But we've seen guys with crazy dimensions before. What makes Davis special is his skill set. He grew up as a point guard (I mean, according to the cover story his overlords prepared for him), and while he's not some kind of point-forward revelation, his turnaround jumper appeared with a vengeance last season. The kid can shoot. Fadeaway, out of the post, top of the key catch-and-shoot off the curl the whole nine yards. We'll avoid the possibility of him adding a 3-pointer, because at that point we might as well send in the Marines or Jeff Goldblum to implant a virus.

You don't get to see a truly special player take full control of his abilities and make that leap very often. The possibility exists with Davis. Maybe it's this season. Maybe it's next season. Doesn't matter. The promise of what Davis could be is worth waiting through whatever he's not. Oh, and waiting to see if the mothership comes to reclaim him.

Watch Anthony Davis this season. Before it's too late.

2. LeBron Comes Home: Go to YouTube.com and search for "lebron coming home." It returns 148,000 results, including one with the entry "My mentor in basketball and life - LeBron James is heading back to his hometown - Cleveland to play with the Cleveland" and Skylar Gray actually playing "I'm Coming Home" at his homecoming party.

Cleveland fans drive me nuts. They're so desperate to escape being "that city" and everything that goes with it they tend to react like the guys in the Bourne Identity who have been experimented on. They are a bizarre mix of bravado built upon the idea that "things can't get worse" mixed with a steadfast awareness that the historical demon of failure that's haunted them is always waiting around the corner.

And yet, you can't get away from this ... there's something truly wonderful about what's about to happen in that city.

This means so much more than just an athlete returning to play for his team. Sports often feels like a cultural experience because of how big it is in America. But so often it's just a tall guy going somewhere to toss a leather ball in a peach basket (modified). But not here. Not with him. This is different.

There's a joy that's going to be present there this season. Yes, they hope for a title, and yes, the expectations are high. But LeBron's return means more than that. It's validation of these people, that they're worth coming back to, that their land (or, yes, ugh, Land) is worth coming back to.

There's going to be a sense of erasing the last four years for everyone in the Buckeye state, even though James wouldn't trade the second or third year in Miami for nearly anything. But he's been polite about it, and will continue to be so. He went out and established his credibility in those two championships. It was that success that allowed James the confidence to return like Caesar.

(Note: I'm not sure if, in this scenario, Dan Gilbert or Pat Riley is Pompey or if Dion Waiters is Brutus.)

But the point, since James dropped that little love letter (and simultaneous Dear John letter to Miami) is the truth doesn't matter. It doesn't matter that James' boss not only openly insulted him in a vitriolic and personal manner, but then reasserted his position twice ... and then later said he immediately regretted it. It doesn't matter the fans burned his jersey, cursed his name and that of his mother, tore him down in every conversational conduit they could discover, and now act like the biggest hero there has ever been.

It's all forgotten. It's all forgiven. James hasn't just healed a wound, he's rewritten history. They're already vehemently defending him and the team against criticism. The past four years? They never happened.

This season isn't a story of redemption. It's some sort of coronation. He finally gets to be King, and that's going to be worth watching.

3. Western Conference doom gauntlet: Sometimes I forget days overlap. It's a function of my memory and the way my brain works. I can remember the starting lineup of the Hornets in 2006 but not my mother's birthday or the fact that the 28th of October is also a Tuesday. (That one I know because it's the start of the NBA season, but still.)

So sometimes I wind up with hellacious days where I've accidentally quadruple booked myself. My kid has a play and I have to go get the dry cleaning, I've got two features do, a mock draft, and it's my turn to make dinner and oh, hey, cool, I've got a dentist's appointment in ... 30 minutes.

That's the Western Conference. You get through the Texas Triangle and then you have OKC. Get past the Thunder and a west coast back-to-back of Portland and the Clippers awaits. On and on it goes. And while it's a nightmare for the teams, it's nightly must-watch TV for the rest of us. There's something about the never-ending series of tough matchups happening every night that even though it seems like they don't matter, come April, these will be wins the playoff teams will need. It's easy to forget, but these games count, and in the West, you need all of them.

4. Kevin Love, to be adored is to become whole: You ever have someone adore you? Not love you, but adore you. There's a difference. Timberwolves fans loved Kevin Love. He grew up under them. He was going to be with them for the rest of his basketball life. But with that comes expectation, and it's a two-way street. And really what he wanted was a little more adoration from the Wolves themselves.

But this season, he'll be adored. The same way that Chris Bosh soaked up the love in free agency in 2010 with an unfinished documentary, the way the Lakers basked in that 2012 media day before everything became, you know, terrible.

And Love was never nationally adored. The Timberwolves were almost never on national television, so even on nights when he started rebounding at Moses Malone numbers, he was a freak show on the highlight shows. Then the one year they had some momentum and some opportunities for the spotlight, he was hurt.

But now, Cleveland will adore him because there's no pressure on him to make this work. He's a legit star, but he's not the guy that everything hinges on. Because the Cavs have more roster balance, there's less pressure for someone to "step up and help LeBron." Just as James might as well ride to opening night at the Q on a chariot with rose petals lining his path, Love might as well be carried in on a carriage by acolytes.

And that story is certainly worth watching, but more than that is this. It may not be the most admirable trait, but so many players have reached new heights once they had better teams. And now we get to see Love in that kind of environment. Love said all along all he wanted was to win. He's not in LA. He's not in Boston. He's in Cleveland. And perhaps we'll see this season if it's better to be an idolized role player in Cleveland than a criticized god in New York.

5. Russell Westbrook ... DANGER ZONE: As NBA fans, you live for those moments where everyone takes a breath. It's so fast, but you learn when you can see the path to the basket, the cut, the open man. You hold your breath when Westbrook crosses half court with a lane to the basket.

You want to see if he'll shoulder block someone and impale them on a camera guy. Or if he'll slip past, using his off-hand to glide the ball in instead of ricocheting. Or if he'll simply slice through, rise up, and kill the rim with one hand.

Dogfights between fighter jets last only a matter of seconds. You don't have these drawn out scenarios when you're going that fast in a limited amount of airspace. That's much like Westbrook. Everything seems like a dogfight, and with Kevin Durant injured, we're going to find out if Maverick can succeed without Goose. (Never mind the amazing comparison of the Spurs to a squadron of MIGs.)

Maybe with all eyes on him, this time Westbrook will hit the brakes and the critics will fly right by.

6. San Antonio Spurs and the Sistine Chapel of Ball Movement: If you can see God in basketball, the Almighty lies within a Boris Diaw touch pass to the corner before he goes to eat duck confit pastrami (which is amazing and if I had the money Diaw has I would eat it all the time and not care about weight jokes either).

The Spurs are not compelling. I feel very strongly about this. They don't allow anyone to tell their stories and even if they did, they've been doing this for so long those stories would be like Aaron Sorkin plot lines he keeps reusing in all his shows. You pretty much know what the deal is at this point.

But the basketball? The basketball is a symphony. If Indiana Jones saw the Spurs play basketball, he'd swoop in, grab them and swing off on his whip yelling, "It belongs in a museum!" People are fond of saying that the Spurs play the game the way it's meant to be played, but I disagree because humans were never meant to be perfect.

Anyway, they throw the ball around a lot very quickly and make a lot of jump shots. It's pretty cool.

7. Derrick Rose in the gap: There's a moment, after Rose has left his defender in the dust like a sports car peeling out, after getting to the middle of the lane before the weak-side defender can rotate inside. He doesn't just elevate for the gliding jam. He jump stops, or at least he did, before, you know, everything. And in that moment it's like Neo in the Matrix gathering himself before flight, or Batman in that Arkham City sequence vs. Ra's Al Ghul in the fictional desert, or Charles Barkley when someone puts the cheeseburger in front of him.

And you can audibly hear the crowd gasp. Rose takes flight, rises straight up, puts the ball behind his head, and throws that sucker down like he's punishing the basketball gods for having put obstacles in his way.

Maybe that's gone, after the injuries. Maybe he won't do that anymore. But it's worth watching for. Forget seeing if Rose can be himself again, or stay healthy. Get excited for that moment in-between space and explosion.

8. Steph Curry and his NBA jam mode: There should be courses at MIT geared at trying to explain and understand Curry's shooting. He shoots better, compared to league averages, off the dribble than he does on spot-up catch-and-shoot situations. He could just launch after just crossing half court on every possession and the Warriors might have a higher points per possession mark than last year's Bulls.

His shooting is by definition unsustainable, and yet it is sustainable. He is the master of the perpetual field goal percentage. There's no way to guard him. Not really. You just get your hand up, and you pray. He will have nights this season, under a new offensive system that may not resemble a kid doing multiplication tables with chalk on a sidewalk, where he's going to go off. And on those nights, all of basketball culture will look up and watch Curry's shots drop like that first time you feel the sun after a long winter.

9. Blake Griffin, the storm system: No more jokes about dunks or flopping. No more petty cracks from former players. Griffin isn't the lightning strike of his rookie season or the thundercloud of his second or third. He's something wholly more powerful now. He tears the planks from barns, sets crops on fire, douses the kitchen with a downpour through that hole you never called the guy to fix.

Griffin's game has added something every year, and the slow, plodding, methodical post moves have given way to counter-moves and sweeping adjustments. His mid-range jumper has grown from a catapult launch to a crossbow. It's not a precision instrument yet, but it's still something you need to respect.

He and Chris Paul have grown to share a bond. His game has grown in every direction, and his confidence level is ridiculous.

And Griffin is only 25 years old.

10. Goran Dragic the point guard reincarnate: There's a bizarre and sick symmetry to Steve Nash's career likely being over, given that it occurs at the same time Dragic, Nash's pupil, has come of age. Dragic spent years under Nash, learning his trick, including my favorite, "The Midget." From Grantland:

You tricked him with a lot of those little timing moves. Do you just pick those things up as you go along in the NBA? Is it natural?

Yeah, of course you pick it up. I learned a lot from Steve [Nash]. I don’t have the same game as Steve, but I learned a couple of things from him -- how to play pick-and-roll, and do that midget around the paint.

The midget? Do you mean the little Nash thing where he drives down one side, goes under the rim, and pops out the other side? You call that the midget?

We call it the midget. But I work on my game in the offseason. I watch tape of players -- Chris Paul, Deron Williams, all the top players who play my same position.

via Q&A: Goran Dragic on Being Fearless, Playing His Game, and ‘Words With Friends’ «.

Dragic isn't quite Nash. He's more aggressive, and resembles a snake uncoiling to strike at times while slithering through defenders at others. (Apologies to the Black Mamba; wait, no, Kobe Bryant gave himself that nickname and you're not allowed to do that so no ... this other guy's more like a snake, so the old man can deal with it.) Dragic is more aggressive, a bit more athletic, and a bit more emotional. All of it combined under Jeff Hornacek's system last year to make Dragic must-watch night-by-night.

He's not his predecessor, but he carries the spirit of Nash with him.

11. The Mamba strikes back: Everyone's caught up with defending Kobe from media criticism, with appreciating what he's done to get back, with welcoming back one of the league's greats.

This is not a love story. This is not a redemption song. This is not a heart-warming tale of triumph.

This is the return of the villain.

Bryant leaves fans of the opponent frozen in his wake. That miserable, gut-wrenching, deep cold in the pit of the stomach feeling when someone has reached in and torn your fandom's heart out and let you watch it beat for a moment before you slump back to your car. That's what he lives for. Punishing the opponent. He can talk about "process" and "the work" and all of that all he wants, but there's still a part of him that loves being booed, hated, that thrives on silencing the screams and joy, that wants to snuff out the happiness in a building like closing his fingers around a candle flame.

Bryant is not here for you to throw roses to. He's here to crush your rebellion and leave the folks on his home planet building more statues to him. You want to see Kobe back until it's that jumper flying true and straight through the net leaving you heartbroken and ashamed that a part of you wishes he was still injured, while the media clamors over themselves to bear witness to the latest destruction of a neighboring solar system.

So yeah, be excited for Kobe's return. But know what you're getting into.

(For more on Kobe, check out Ken Berger's in-depth interview feature with the man himself.)

12. Bounce Brothers learning to fly: One day, we'll look back at this Timberwolves team and probably marvel at it. "They had Anthony Bennett AND Andrew Wiggins AND Zach LaVine AND Nikola Pekovic AND Ricky Rubio?!" Even if none of those players arrive at a tier of greatness, even if all of them go down as "if only they could shoot/pass/dribble/rebound/defend," the promise of what they were and the stylistic allure they will each present through the years will look tremendous in retrospect.

And for the Bounce Brothers, LaVine and Wiggins, it's a chance to see athleticism without consequence. It's guilt-free highlight reels. The Wolves don't have to be good, because they'll fly. They don't have to win games, because you'll watch to see what can happen, and if gravity is a necessity. Youth is a virtue, ignorance is bliss, and the Timberwolves need no water, they'll let the scoreboards burn.

13. Dirk Nowitzki and KILLINEM INC.: The Mavericks feature a three-headed stallion beast of Dirk Nowitzki, Monta Ellis, and Chandler Parsons, AKA Run DMC, AKA Gun DMC, aka the front-runner for best offensive efficiency for a three-man unit, at least in the Western Conference.

Nowitzki quietly was a monster again last season, and probably was the second-best power forward over the final two months of the season. Ellis unleashed in Carlisle's offense hasn't really changed, despite weird narratives as such, he's just doing what he does in a controlled way that fits the system. And Parsons is just a crazy combination of athleticism, shooting ability and dashing good looks.

(Hold up, did I say a three-headed stallion beast? How would that thing run? Let's amend that and call it a rocket horse.)

Some teams will wow you with athleticism, but you won't fear them. And there are teams that will wear you out with defense, but again, you'll a least feel like the other team can overcome that with execution. But the reason I call this squad KILLINEM INC. is that they will leave you texting your friends on your couch, or turning to your friends at the bar and just saying "Dirk/Ellis/Parsons is just KILLING US." That's their job, to relentlessly and efficiently make shots.

It's not a youthful joyride, it's not a rumbling train. It's a high-performance luxury vehicle, and watching all the bells and whistles on this thing will leave you breathless.

14. Fall down 100 times, stand up 101: Dwyane Wade has always defined himself by being doubted. Underrated at Marquette. Underrated as a prospect. Underrated as a rookie. And even underrated as a champion after his first run. He suffered through injury seasons and despite a magnificent 2009 season where he was worthy of the MVP, he was largely left for dead. Then the LeBron resurgence came and went, and now he's back where he started.

Thing is, the Wade experience shifts moment by moment, month by month. In the Eastern Conference Finals of 2013, he was left for dead, only to rise and have monster games to finish the Pacers, and give the Spurs just enough nightmares to help the Heat get past. He skipped 28 games last season and yet shot 55 percent in those games with 21 points and five assists per game. And was good to start the Eastern Conference Finals. And then he completely vanished in the Finals. So now he's "done."

Maybe Wade's content with three titles, an investment empire in Miami, a decided place in the Heat organization forever and a future Hall of Fame spot.

But maybe, just maybe, he wants to provide a reminder, and stand up just one more time.

15. The Blazers' 3d space printer: I'm fascinated by 3D printers. Did you know that they are using it in medicine, that they can replace bone and are working to produce organs? Or that they are now printing food with it?

And the Blazers, somehow, have created a 3D printer to produce spacing. They just push a button, and their offense creates open threes. It's not magic, it's some sort of sophisticated technology, and watching them really is to marvel at what offensive basketball can do. I mean, look at Wesley Matthews' shot chart.

A cyclops smiling has never been so beautiful.

The Blazers don't have a transcendent shooter like Stephen Curry or a gravitational star like Dwight Howard (though LaMarcus Aldridge certainly has pull). Instead they have a schematic and know how to use robot limbs to deliver. If Ultron built a basketball team, it would be the Blazers.

16. The Hornets Startup DOT COM: The Hornets are building a bubble. They recaptured their branding with the new old name, have a unique mobile experience (Kemba Walker and Lance Stephenson) and the startup investment to make them rock solid (Al Jefferson).

Will the bubble burst? Will they overextend on users without building the kind of customer experience you need in today's online environment? Will their brand create synergy and dynamic returns?

In short, will the Hornets be as good as they are cool, now?

Maybe it doesn't matter. Maybe just being cool will be enough in the East since they'd have to step on the rake so hard the handle gives them a Grade 3 concussion to not make the playoffs. But either way, the Hornets are where you want to be this season. The new logo, a fascinating mix of talented but incomplete players and total lunatics makes Charlotte a rage.

The Cable Box is the new Silicon Valley.

17. Eric Bledsoe is 911: Watching Bledsoe play makes you want to call 911 because some sort of crime has been committed. He's one of the few players in the league who can hit the chase-down block out of nowhere, snatch the rebound, push the ball, slice between defenders and deliver the pass you need.

He's called mini-LeBron and he's got that same feel of a linebacker defensively, able to blitz or lay back in coverage. Offensively he keeps showing more and more, and alongside Dragic, he's an impossible combination. Why have one great point guard when you can have two? Or three, with Isaiah Thomas? But Bledsoe's a point guard if he needs to be and so much more when he doesn't. He's a human jukebox of playmaking. Drop the quarter and cue up what you want.

18. Dwight Howards in his comfort zone: The trade drama he created. The back surgery. The stare from Kobe, the LA expectations, the new system in Houston, the back, the back, the back.

Howard is comfortable for the first time in years, and that could mean something much better. Yes, it would be great to see an angry Howard showing all his doubters wrong, and angrily hulking out on the West. It would be great to see a sneering, vicious version of Superman. But it's never going to happen.

So why be excited about Howard? Because if you get past his personality and all the drama he hauls along with him, and all the nonsense he makes a part of his life, there's a basketball player. And that player is instinctive and devastating and damn near unstoppable when he's not focused on anything but playing, and comfortable with what he's doing. There's the possibility of that this year. The league needs its dominant center back before the young guys come up. It's time for Howard to settle in and get back to the business of being awesome.

19. GIMME DAT HAT SAUZ KAHL: Sorry, this is my bad phonetic interpretation of what Stacy King on the Bulls' broadcasts used to yell whenever Kyle Korver would hit a big three and it cracked me up so often that I still tweet it whenever he does it in Atlanta. Korver's game is brutally simple. Run. Shoot. Repeat. Sometimes he dribbles. Like so:

Korver's game is like shooter extract. If it were in a squishee, it would put you in a hallucinogenic trance like Milhouse. If Curry is amazing to watch because it's unbelievable the shots he can hit, Korver's amazing because you fully expect him to make all these shots, and he nearly always does.

20. John Wall elected chairman of the board: Wall was the hotshot executive who then was in charge of several failed projects but managed to keep his job. He made a few smart management decisions, invested in some good projects that brought returns and kept a good public profile.

Now, he's in charge. This is his team. Pierce has been brought on to provide the industry respectability, Beal is the new hotshot, and Nene and Gortat have made huge strides in their divisions. But Wall's the one who will make headlines, the stock will rise and fall with him. Wall's still underrated, by All-Star voters, by website rankings, and by Team USA. Wall's actually making strides in the wins department, and if that keeps up, his individual notoriety will follow suit.

21. Drummzilla vs. NBA Tokyo: Andre Drummond just swings his limbs and buildings fall down. His dunks are like radioactive breath and in his wake he leaves smoldering ruins. Whether you prefer the dude in the rubber suit smashing toy buildings or the modern CGI behemoth, Drummond is an absolute monster. He's still learning how to use that gigantic frame of his, but he lead all players who played 30 minutes or more last season in rebounds per 100 possessions, and was seventh in blocks for the same set.

He can't hit free throws, but then, Godzilla couldn't catch Mothra for a while, either. Drummond is under-the-radar amazing and who's worth watching.

22. Al Jefferson and the Cookie Monster of Clutch: I have called Jefferson this for years, on account of his ability to be the rare center who teams can go to late in a close game and say "go get us a bucket." He takes those possessions and bucket opportunities, and just goes, "NOM NOM NOM NOM."

And it's awesome to watch. I asked Jefferson for his reaction to that nickname last season. His response?

"I like cookies."

Yes, yes he does.

23. Jabari Parker, buckets inventor: Some guys have a natural scoring ability, and Parker is one of those guys. His scoring talent is a gift. I still believe he has the capacity to be a versatile forward in playmaking and rebounding, but the Bucks seem content on just letting him create scoring as a big, and at that, he'll still be great. He's just in the lab trying new things out this season. It's like Flubber, only with bottle service and groupies.

Trust me, I played with him on NBA 2K15 and it worked out. That's science, right?

DeMarcus Cousins is set to have a big year. (USATSI)

24. DeMarcus Cousins, Cthulu Lovecraft-ian Nightmare: Of all centers since 2005, DeMarcus Cousins had the most points per 100 possessions for any center playing 30 minutes a night. The most. He was 13th in rebounds per 100 possessions. Cousins can shoot, rebound, handle, tap back, dunk, bully, outsneak, outhustle and outbust anyone in the league. He's an abject monster, and his defensive impact was entirely overlooked last season.

This Kings team looks terrible, but Cousins himself will be worth-watching. He didn't complain once during FIBA about a bad call. Imagine a fully-actualized, fully-engaged, fully-versatile Cousins. Get your popcorn and prepare for the end of days. DeMarcus Cthulusins is coming.

25. Tim Duncan punching clock: The guy is still doing it, at this level -- 17 years later. Five titles, MVPs, what feels like hundreds of thousands of games, and he's still coming to work, still doing work, and still ready to push for a repeat. Duncan isn't looking for that promotion, doesn't need to or have to prove anything to anyone. He's here to do his job and go home, most likely in sweatpants.

The awe of the routine lies in watching Duncan.

26. Lionel Hollins and the Nets' Odyssey: The Nets are on a long journey and it seems at times like they're never going to get home. The roster has slowly been downgraded season after season, and many of their best players aren't what they once were.

But here comes grumpy old Hollins to steer the ship right. Hollins is an old school, hard knocks, no nonsense coach, and he gets the most out of his guys. If they connect with him, the Nets are going to find ways to be good. Veteran teams with these kinds of coaches can be very dangerous. Having Hollins back on the sideline and seeing if he can get them out of the cyclops' cave and back home is worth the price of admission.

27. Memphis Grizzlies: Die Hard: Seriously, they're a Die Hard movie. They always manage to find themselves outgunned and beaten down vs. what seems like an insurmountable opponent. They manage to do so with a gritty attitude and always seem so blue-collar and outright gross that they shouldn't even be allowed in the buildings they have to defend.

The Grizzlies win with fortitude and by making the basketball equivalent of driving a car off a divider into a helicopter. You watch it, and you buy it's happening, but then you read the sentence of what just occurred and you don't understand how this movie got made.

But they are so, so fun to watch. Let's just hope this one isn't "A Good Day to Die Hard."

28. Ninja Gaiden: Denver Nuggets: The Nuggets don't have name recognition, they don't have headliners, and they don't drop splashy quips when they do work. They are silent, deadly and legion. After an injury wreck last year, the Nuggets revamped and are now jumping from wall to wall with an army of depth. They are seemingly everywhere, with versatile, smart veterans. They're legitimately three-deep at every position and have the brains (Ty Lawson) and the beast (Kenneth Faried).

These guys are climbing up on roofs and dropping down to attack with silent force. The Nuggets are ninjas and they're on the attack.

29. Paul Pierce, the Pericles of the East: The elder statesman of the Eastern Conference. Pierce isn't trying to maintain or cement a legacy like Bryant, to re-establish an empire like Duncan has the past few years. He's just below that line, and that affords him to effectively consolidate his power wherever he goes, and to use his charismatic leadership to make any team, in this case the Wizards, into one of the top sub-contenders in the league.

He comes in, he expands the empire, downplays his individual impact while clearly trying to expand his reputation as a difference-maker. Watching him in Washington, able to be a role-player or floor general, is a much nicer way to see him at career's end than trying to drag the Nets with Joe Johnson up the long hill.

30. Pacers: Isolation: There's this new video game out called "Alien: Isolation" based on the movie series and it's an authentic representation of the analog-computer techno-nightmare envisioned by the first film. It's gotten really shaky reviews and is also, by all accounts, terrifying.

Much like the Pacers.

But unlike how I will not play the game because just watching the game play gives me the heebie-jeebies, I will watch the Pacers because seeing a team find itself alone on offense, trying to cobble together parts like Rodney Stuckey and C.J. Watson to create an offense is tense and carries with it a certain horror-film interest.

In Indianapolis, no one can hear you scream, because their attendance is horrible.

But if you're into that kind of thing, this team will be something to watch. Can you succeed against all odds against a gigantic, acid-dripping monster known as "the rest of the NBA?" Hide in a locker to find out.

31. Kyle Lowry, the Butcher: Your butcher does not want to hear about your kids and how they're doing in school. He or she does not want to talk about the delicious couscous you made last week. He does not want to chit-chat.

He is going to carve up your strip streak and some lamb shoulder -- because seriously, the lamb shoulder is amazing -- take your money, and then go cut some more meat.

Watching Lowry carve is better than most art. And the Raptors feast on it.

32. Dame of Thrones: Damian Lillard is awesome. That's it.

33. Al Horford teach you something: Horford missed most of the year with a shoulder injury. He's back, and Horford's the best kind of teacher. He's like that English professor writing in concise, nearly indecipherable scribble on the chalkboard (or whatever 3D-holographic systems have replaced chalkboards; you guys have holograms now, right?)

He's not Robin Williams in "Dead Poet's Society" (RIP), but he's very much that professor that inspires his students and is asked to appear at all the conferences. Horford is very nearly a basketball genius, and he's terrific on both ends. Having him back will be a joy.

34. Joakim Noah urban legend: He's spoken of as if he's some sort of giant sewer monster that grabs people out of grates and drags them beneath the city. He's the reason alleyways are scary. Noah is nearly mythical in his play. The ferocity with which he defends is enough to make him a candidate for Monsters, Inc.

He's a brilliant passer with weird hair and constantly is screaming. He doesn't make sense but he makes havoc. The only thing more fearsome than the idea of Noah is the man himself.

35. Stan Van Can, Man: Stan Van Gundy can coach. He may drive his players crazy with the voice and his constant haranguing, but his teams are always prepared to play. That's a massively underrated element in coaching, just having your guys ready.

The Pistons will have better spacing, better shooting, better rotations and better late-game execution. The roster has talent, it just doesn't make sense from the outside. SVG provides an opportunity to make it make sense. You can question his "panic" or whatever, but he man makes his teams better, and he'll do the same with the Pistons.

Now, about Josh Smith...

36. Dunk Contest 4.0: Dr. J defined 1.0. Jordan and 'Nique were 2.0. Vince Carter and the 2000 field defined 3.0. And since then, we've been looking for something to compare the dunk contest to.

And yeah, we've thought year after year we'd gotten the field. Last year might honestly have been it if they, ironically, hadn't messed with the formula to try and change things up and give it life. You can remain skeptical about the dunk contest, that's the safe bet. But if you love dunks, or the contest, this one might be worth it.

37. Gregg Popovich truth or dare: The best part is that reporters will still ask Popovich questions they've brainstormed over for more than a day hoping to get the elusive good answer from Pop. Getting "Pop'd" is a right of passage and is enjoyed by all spectators. Pop will deliver some zingers, and quietly will deliver a handful of thoughtful responses.

Plus, you get to see him dare Adam Silver to fine him for the first time in his tenure. Always a good time.

38. Non-Humans of New York: The Knicks don't seem like a basketball team this time around. They're more of a conceptual art project, or a meme. They have half-a-point-guard, offense only, and half-a-center, defense only. They have half-an-elite-player in Melo (maybe 8/9ths if we're being honest).

New York is a fascinating, constantly evolving, and pretty-weird-in-places city. This Knicks team is made for them, and may be one of the most beloved, if not good teams, if the Phil Jackson era works out.

39. Marc Gasol engineering: It's all angles with Gasol. The obtuse angles from the pinch post. The acute angles he uses to score in the low block. Right angles in rotation defense. Gasol is constantly building structures on both ends. Walls and obstacles defensively, pathways and tunnels offensively. He's a near genius in how to play the game.

Gasol is neither as good as he can be made out to be nor as bad as his detractors claim. But he is one of the most impactful players in the entire league, and watching him is to watch inspiration through structure.

40. Melo's proof of soul: Carmelo Anthony has been great on good teams and great on bad teams and never really elite. The "selfish" tag has harassed him from Denver to New York. He has an opportunity now to show that he has a basketball soul, that he can share the ball and make reads in the triangle. Is Melo more than a scorer? This is the best chance we've ever had to find out.

41. Hornacek's band of outlaws: The Suns really shouldn't be this good. Dragic has been a backup that shifted around before exploding last season. Bledsoe was CP3's understudy with injury issues the Suns gambled on. The Morris twins both looked like busts in their rookie seasons. Miles Plumlee was a relative unknown as an NBA prospect out of Duke. I mean, Gerald Green for crying out loud!

But it works. Jeff Hornacek has changed them into a dynamic, unconventional, fundamentally-sound team. They're not household names, but they're one of the most fun teams in the league to watch.

42. Sixers rubbernecking: The other day I was driving on notoriously difficult I-25 in Denver. Both on the way into the city and back out, traffic stacked up around an accident, despite a divider. That's how powerful the rubbernecking urge is. People will just not be able to avoid looking for signs of disaster.

And that's why you'll want to watch the Sixers. Not a lot. But some. Just to see how bad an NBA team could really be. Until Michael Carter-Williams gets back (or after he's traded which is a possibility), Nerlens Noel, who has never played a minute of NBA regular season play, missed all last year with an ACL injury, and had to totally rebuild his shot, is their best player. Their next best player is Hollis Thompson. Their next best player is probably K.J. McDaniels, a second-round rookie. This team could be something beyond bad, where they are so bad you actually can't believe what you're seeing. Just try not to hold up traffic.

43. Bosh and Wade experimental album: Chris Bosh and Dwyane Wade always seemed like closer friends than either were with LeBron James. Maybe that's a misnomer, since Wade has called James his "best friend," but that's just what it seemed like. Either way, Bosh and Wade make sense to a large degree together. A dynamic stretch-four and a versatile shooting guard who can draw the defense and find the open man. Along with Mario Chalmers, and without James, this team can try and make something new. They can try new things, they can focus on seeing if things work beyond just trying to win the title. Yes, the championship is the goal, but even they know that to do something great, they have to get out of what has been their comfort zone the past few years.

They can make the trance folk album they always wanted to make and never could with James' traditional rock approach. This is their chance for a concept album. Let's get weird, Heat.

44. Boris Diaw painting: The best thing about how much of an impact player Boris Diaw has become for the Spurs is that he never seems to act like he cares whether they win or lose. He's just like some guy painting in a French vineyard, wearing a beret, eating cheese and enjoying life.

He plays with a near-indifference for the result, just a joy in the process, and maybe that's what makes him a perfect Spur. From a role player on the 7 Seconds or Less teams to a joke and castoff in Charlotte to a near-Finals-MVP player, Diaw's a fascinating watch, a guy who looks like he should be able to do nothing, and instead can do everything, and do it well. Spurs.

45. The Warriors' malware defense: Lost in the fireworks of the offensive perimeter explosions is that the Warriors' defense isn't ravenous like the Grizzlies or bullying like the Bulls. They're a malware system that infects your offense and leaves you screaming at the IT guy that you didn't do anything, you just checked your fantasy scores and then all this weird stuff started happening. They spread throughout your entire file structure and collapse it. Watch Andre Iguodala corralling and harassing guards into where they want them to go, watch Andrew Bogut showing up and recovering, watch Draymond Green smothering guards and forwards and centers. This defense is actually better than their offense.

The system is down.

46. Utah Young Hydra: They have so many good young players. No one's even talking about Trey Burke despite him being an absolute gamer who had to try and catch up last year after a preseason injury. Gordon Hayward is due for a bounceback season, Derrick Favors should make a leap this year, Enes Kanter is shooting threes, Rudy Gobert is a freak of absolute nature, Alec Burks was criminally underrated last year. All of their guys are young and they have one of the best developmental coaches in the league in Quin Snyder. This team will be much better by season's end than season's start. Cut off one youngster, two more will take their place.

47. Do more at the Home Dipo: This has been dampened somewhat by an MCL sprain in preseason, followed by a facial fracture that will keep him out a month. But if he's able to get right and come back, Oladipo will shock people. The difference in his first month to last last season was amazing. He's a smothering, smart defender, can get out in transition, is an underrated passer, can finish through contact, find the cutter in traffic, and is a great floor leader.

If the Magic surprise this season despite what looks to be a horrid offense, it'll be because Victor Oladipo is the real deal. Do more at the Home Dipo.

48. Tony Parker surgeon: Surgeons are creepy. Let's be honest. They're disinterested, calculating, and their entire job is to physically carve into human beings. That's Tony Parker.

He's the one who shows up at fancy restaurants in town after games, the one that makes headlines outside of just "The Spurs are good." But he's also just able to move through the defense's organs and make it into whatever he wanted. In that way, Tony Parker is a surgeon like Dr. Hannibal is a psychiatrist. 49.

49. Sgt. LeBron's Lonely Hearts Club Band: The Heat named themselves "The Heatles," and even had t-shirts made to reflect such. Looking back, those four years in Miami were definitely the early "Beatlemania" years for LeBron. Press conferences after every game, a circus wherever they went, the biggest "band" in America.

Now that he's back in Cleveland with Kevin Love and Kyrie Irving along with those backup musicians from Miami, this is more like the "Sgt. Pepper's" era. It's the apex of his creative output, it's the furthest he can go as an artist, and it's right before injuries or career fatigue wear him out. He still loves the game, and this is set to be the happiest he's ever been as a player.

"Lonely Hearts Club Band" is the best Beatles album of all time (sorry, "Revolver") and this could be the best we'll ever see a James team. 2012 may be the best individual player we'll ever see him as, but this may be the best "album" he ever puts out.

50. The Toronto Raptor Battletoads: In the 90's there was a video game based around mutant space frogs. This was actually an idea someone had and they made it into an actual video game. And it was actually awesome.

The Raptors are a team built around Kyle Lowry, DeMar DeRozan, Terrence Ross, Jonas Valanciunas, Greivis Vasquez, and Amir Johnson. They are a playoff team and division favorite built around that core. They tried to tank last year and wound up making the playoffs. It is bizarre. But that game was so much fun to play and the Raptors are so much fun to watch. They make little sense, the gameplay is strange but not hyper-active, they're not gimmicky. It's just like if you took the idea of giant, mutant, laser-gun-wielding frogs and took it completely seriously.

Battletoads.

BONUS! 51. The Josh Smith "NOOOOOOOOOO" effect: Josh Smith catches the ball on the perimeter, the defense has predictably sagged off of him, and the entire crowd recognizes what is happening and starts to scream "NOOOOO!" Smith inevitably lets it fly. He'll never change, he'll never stop, he'll never make it. And watching it happen each year is as good a sign as any that the NBA season has arrived.

Apologies to: LaMarcus Aldridge, Nerlens Noel, Jose Calderon, Rajon Rondo trade talks, Swaggy P, Kevin Durant, the hope of Joel Embiid, Steven Adams' fight club, Mascots, Chris Webber, Joel Meyers, Jim Petersen, the Inside the NBA crew, #BasketballTwitter, Kemba Walker being Mr. Freeze, and many, many more.

Get excited, the season is here.